Wrong Number....
by Sasami1
Summary: Raphael, turning into a girl, some witches.....~Partially inspired by Kali Gargoyles stories~ Please r
1. Default Chapter

It was any regular Thursday for the turtle family

It was any regular Thursday for the turtle family. The sewers were as quiet as sewers would get, and mid day break was just ending. 

In the dojo a lone turtle trained, getting his extra hours in of solo practice. He didn't mind that his brothers spent the early afternoon lounging about eating. It was their time. But he. He used his time to hone the precision in his ninja skills. He must do so to keep his place. Once his brother told him that excessive exersize was rumored to disapate pent up sexual energy. This amused him. Apparently Leonardo was a sex god. Good one. But he'd take a good work out over a woman. At least today he would.

The phone rang and he wiped the naughtying thoughts from his head. Drawing his tense arm though the air he moved into a new kata, blowing images from his mind with pursed lips. 

A few seconds later his little brother Mike passed to see who had called. It was the day after groceries and he had been spending the afternoon in the kitchen. A fading blue apron was tight tight around his shell, and blotched like bleach with a cream sauce. He had taken his pans off the burners to check on the phone. He was hoping for a call from a magazine. About his poems he sent in. He had forced himself to revise them several times, and had a disgusted yet proud view of them by this time. Maybe, maybe someone else liked them too....

Raphael had answered the phone. Apparently he had hauled his ass off the couch at last. There was an ass groove and a bag of chips from where he had been sitting. The TV blared a basketball commentary over a set of slow motion playbacks.

And the phone was off the hook, swinging about like a Ted Kennedy after 10. And there was Raphael who stood beside the booth. Holding Klunk.

Mike froze and tensed as if he had been stabbed with a million needles. His brother continued to pet the cat. He could just imagine those fingers closing around the fluffy scruff of neck, hurling the cat across the room. _Ohhhhh, no no no no no_.....

"Uh.... _Raph_?" Mike asked in a little voice. Raphael looked up at him like he hadn't heard him come in. "Can.... can _I_ have Klunk?" He asked very carefully. Very slowly. 

A perplexed expression came over Raphaels face. Klunk nuzzled his nose into Raphs arm and he gave another long slow stroke. "Um.... are.... are you going to hurt Klunk?" Mikes shoulders shrunk in on themselves, although he was preparing himself to lunge forth to save his cat. His brothers eyes opened wider and gave a very slow nod.

"Uh... yeah... get outa here... you.... stinkin'..... lousy..... _cat_!" Raphael demanded. Klunk purred and bonked his head against Raphs plastron, rubbing it up and down. _Noooo, Klunk no!!!_ Mike blanched. He watched in horror as Raphael leaned down to bite the cat. He said some angry words of warning at it and Klunk looked up at him. He then stood up in Raphs arms and began to hiss. Fur stood straight and a fuzzy tail perked to the sky. Before Raphael could react Klunk tore out of den and into Mike's room. "Stupid cat." Raphael tightened his arms over his chest.

"Yeah..... so.... who called?" Mike relaxed and went to the phone, disaster averted. He picked it up and brought it to his ear drum. Raph tried to grab it back but he instinctively turned away. A wide grin came over his face as he listened. Raph was doing something bad. And he caught him. Ha ha.

"Wuzzah! AAAAAAHH!!" A woman in the distance screamed. _What the hell?_ Mike dodged another grab by Raph. Then he just gave up and stood back, not at all pleased. There was more yelling and things breaking- he took the phone away from his ear and looked at it like maybe it would show him a picture of what was happening. What do you know, it didn't.

"What _is_ this?" He asked.

"I dunno." Raph spat out. Mikes left brow ridge raised as far as he could make it. Raphael watched him still for a second before taking the phone back. "Wrong number."

"Was it." Mike followed Raph out, being sure to tail him obnoxiously close.

"_Practice guys_!" A deep voice bellowed from the dojo. Mike groaned. He hadn't finished carmelizing his flan. Maybe Splinter would let him sit out till he finished.

"Practice?"

"You were the last one watching, you gotta turn the tv off." Mike declared jogging into the dojo. "_Master Splinter!_" He called, running up to his father, who was already watching him enter. He was given a brief lecture about planning his time. But by brief, it is innanely long to Mike. His flan is burning, he must run.

Before he left though he caught Raph and Leos' facing off to warm up with a pair of bos. Even before Mike can make it out the door Raph gets knocked over on Leos opening move. They all have a good laugh, and he's outa there.

The flan is salvagable and he sees that it carmelizes all nice before pouring it into molds. The smell is nice, and he can't wait until he can dig into the sugary goodness. _Mmmmm.... sugar_. He grabs a palmful of sugar from the bag before jogging back into the dojo, simultaniously removing his apron. _I'm running naked, ha ha-ha ha-ha-ha_. 

Back into the dojo Don and Splinter are watching Raphael on the ground. Leonardo has become fed up and spins his bo to release tension. Mike keeps one eye on his brother as he goes to Don to begin their spar. Raphael clumsily rolls off his shell and onto his feet, wobbling a little. Splinter is going out to see what is the matter, but Leo doesn't see him. He sweeps Raphs feet out from under him, after telling him he's going to do so. 

Raphael hits the floor again with a disquieting 'clunk'. The whole room goes silent. Mike and Don stop. Leonardo holds his bo in mid swipe.

Splinter grunts for Leo to halt and hurries to his sons side. They all gather around slowly, like maybe he's going to throw up. Four pair of concerned eyes look down on him. He looks back up, trying to read their eyes. Before he can speak Splinter asks him if he's feeling well.

"Are you feeling well, Raphael?" An arthritic raw hand rests over the green brow. There's no fever. Raph shys away from the hand and works himself up to a sitting position.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I just, uh... just a little distracted." He mumbles off. Leonardo steps back and frowns, neither convicned or approving. Splinter helps him to his feet and tells him to sit beside him till he's feeling better. Raph looked at him for a time before following his master back to the bench. Leo and Don parred off while Mike worked on his sword play. Every few minutes he would wary a glance to the side of the room, waiting for his brother to join him. He never did.

It was any regular Thursday for the turtle family. The sewers were as quiet as sewers would get, and mid day break was just ending. 

In the dojo a lone turtle trained, getting his extra hours in of solo practice. He didn't mind that his brothers spent the early afternoon lounging about eating. It was their time. But he. He used his time to hone the precision in his ninja skills. He must do so to keep his place. Once his brother told him that excessive exersize was rumored to disapate pent up sexual energy. This amused him. Apparently Leonardo was a sex god. Good one. But he'd take a good work out over a woman. At least today he would.

The phone rang and he wiped the naughtying thoughts from his head. Drawing his tense arm though the air he moved into a new kata, blowing images from his mind with pursed lips. 

Raphael pushed his ass off the couch, grumbing at his inconvenience. If it wasn't for him he was going to hang up. He was tired of playing everyones seceratary. Just because he watched TV he had to answer the fucking phone for everyone.

He grabbed the phone off the hook, making the sounds as sharp as possible so the person on the other line would know his displeasure. Bringing the receiver up to the side of his face he barked a greeting.

"_Yeah_."

"Are you alone?" A voice asked.

"What the, yeah?" He hardly got the word out before she continued.

"Darksome and shining moon

Harken to this rune

Switch these souls through this cord

Until we wish return

In the name of the lady and lord

So mote it be!"

"_Hey_-" It felt like a jolt of electricity bolted through him. His eyes bulged and every muscle contracted.

Sucking and spinning

Down and down

Through and in

Out and from

Raphael tried to call out, but couldn't gasp a breath. His eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted for a moment. But his eyes opened again in a finishing blink.

The TV was gone, all he knew was he was no longer at home. A few hammocks and drying flowers was all he took the time to take in.

"HEY! WHAT THE FU-" He finally called out. _Wait a second... my voice_...._?!_ He brought a hand to his throat. _My hand!!_

"Easy there, just calm down." A soft voice came to him. He jerked his head up, trying to ignore the sensation of something brushing his shoulders. A pair of sea green eyes looked down on him with a forced comfort. A girls face. Sleek and smokey beige hair. He was sitting, and she was looking down on him. 

The phone was in his hand and he looked down. His grip upon it was startling.

"Wuzzah-" He caught site of a shirt. And a pair of breasts. "_AAAAAAAAAAHH_!!!!" And his voice, there it was again. Light and soprano. His hands, they were small and delicate and soft. There was hair were there was none before! Long dark wavy hair that was tickling his shoulders! He was wearing clothes! Clothes that fit! His skin! It was a human color! "_AAAAAHHH_!!!" He yelled again, jumping out of his seat. He hurled the phone away and knocked over its table in the process.

"Woah! It's ok! It's ok! Please, settle down!" The girl pleaded. Raphael looked down at himself. He was wearing a skirt.

"AAAAAHHH!!!!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Oh Eva, I really wish you wouldn't."

"Come on, don't be a spoil sport. It's _fun_!"

"Maybe for you. But _I_ don't have any fun."

"If you tried it sometime you'd think it was fun."

"You remember though, the rule of three...."

"*sigh* Oh come on, they don't complain when they get back. They're happy with what they get."

"If Tabitha ever found out...."

"We've been over this. Now you remember what to do?"

"Yeah.... just get it over with." Eva smiled innocently and sat in the seat placed beside the telephone. She took up the phone in one hand and waried a glance to Gwen. Without looking her fingers turned the number wheel around. Gwen looked down at the phone like it might burn right through the table. How could she just dial a random number and do that? She began to chew on the knuckle of her little finger as she watched.

"It's ringing...." _Oh please, please let it be disconnected. **Please**._ She took the finger from her mouth and wiped it on her jeans. Eva was staring off into space again, getting her body attuned. The poor person didn't know what they were in store for.

For a time it seemed like maybe no one was home. Gwen let her shoulders begin to soften. Thank god, they were out at a movie or something. Suddenly Eva's eyes illuminated. 

"Are you alone?" Her voice became deep and sultry. She gave Gwen a 'I-know-something-you-don't-know-and-wouldn't-want-to-know-had-you-the-choice' look. She wanted to shrink in on herself just think of the possibility her friend had in mind. Eva closed her eyes and recited the spell. _Oh-god-oh-god-oh-god_. She stuck her knuckle back in her mouth and chewed it furiously. There was another brief second of hope- that maybe the other line had hung up already. But that never happened.

Eva suddenly tensed and cried out. _Oh no!_ She wanted to grab her and hold her and make everything alright, but that was the worst things she could do. Something was wrong, _what was wrong_?

"HEY! WHAT THE FUCK-" Eva froze for a second, then went to grab her throat. That made her even more agitated. There were some major bad vibes coming from her.

"Easy there, just calm down." She tried to look as calm as possible. She looked at her, then at the phone. Which Eva was upon opposite side of.

"Wuzzah-" Her eyes shot down to their chest and grew as wide as silver dollars. She screamed and Gwen covered her ears. Oh no, Tabitha was so going to hear about this. Her eyes darted all over the new body, probably catalouging each and everything which was wrong. She screamed again and hurled the phone away, flying across the room with the base dragged behind it. The end table fell over. The next thing Gwen knew was that she was out of the seat.

"Woah! It's ok! It's ok! Please, settle down!" Gwendolyn begged before she could go rampaging through lair. She took another look at herself again and screamed. "_Please, please be quiet-_" She reached out to touch her arm and she leapt away like a cat on fire. Grabbing a wooden bo for defense she was starting to hyperventilate. The sensations were overpowering, more than usual. _Oh no, this is **so** bad!_ Gwen tried to steady her breathing, tapping into the other mind to see what would settle them down. "Please, please, I- uh- _I love basketball!_" _What?!_ "Um- I mean- I- I can explain everything. Please, It's alright, I'll tell you what's going on, you're safe, I won't hurt you, no one here's going to hurt you, you'll get to go home, it's all alright, I promise, I promise-" She rambled on for a time while gauging her reaction. Slowly she began to relax, her breath becoming someone less ragged and... animalistic. "Please, uh-" _Get her out of here, some place quiet._ _Keep the bo to feel better.... wait a second.._. "..._Oh _my god... you're a boy, aren't you." 

"**_YE_**AH!" Her words became stuck in her throat. It felt like she had been punched in the stomach. _By yggsridal... Eva, what did you do!!_ He was starting to become ancy again with a distraction.

"It's ok- It's ok-don't worry!" She waved her hands out. It seemed to make both of them feel a little safer. "Uh- uh- come over here, here-" She motioned toward the bathroom for some reason. He followed a few yards behind, with his bo. _Oh, now I know why we're going in here, it's so I can **throw up!**_ _Just keep calm, don't scare him anymore than you have already…_ Gwen stepped aside in the bathroom and held the door for him. He proceeded to the far end of the narrow room and began looking for a window. She closed the door with both hands and swallowed as hard as possible.

"_Where is this- who are you-_" He yelled. _Oh shit, think, stay calm, what would Tabitha do, just keep him calm, just stay cool!_ He kept yelling, shouting out order like questions. She could feel her control of the situation slipping away.

"Please stop yelling, I'll tell you everything if you'll just be quiet for a little." She managed to edge in over him. It was amazing none of the other girls had come running yet. Fortunately this appeared to placate him and he became quiet. _Oh thank the godess._ "Um, you wanna sit?" Gwen sat in the center of the bathroom, leaning her shoulder against the porcelien side of the tub. Not releasing his hold on the bo in the least, he sunk down to the ground against the far wall. "Ok, um, my name's Gwendolyn…. Can you tell me yours?" She inadvertantly held her breath. That was probably asking to much too soon.

"…..Raphael." _Oh yay! He spoke! …God I am such a loser!_

"Alright then." She smiled. "I have this friend called Evangeliene. She's the one you talked to?" Her voice became continuously softer. She had noticed it caused him to ease the strained muscles in his shoulders. "She cast a little spell on you through the phone line, which is why you're here. 

You see, you're in her body right now. And…. And she's probably in yours." His eyes jolted as if he had been prodded with electricity. "But-but don't worry! Because she's going to call back soon and reverse the spell. Then you'll be back in your own body again. Like nothing happened." She laughed nervously.

"Someones…. In my body…."

"Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Please, just hear me out. Because when you return we can do you a favor. We can do anything you like. Like, you can have a million dollars. Or lose 50 pounds. Or score tickets to the Nicks. Or get a boy-um girl, to like you. _Anything_."

"….Anything?"

"It our way or repaying you for having to go through this. Cause we know how really weird it is. Plus it must be way wierder for you… see, up till now we've only gotten girls on the other line, and well…." Raphael settled back against the wall, the bo leaning against his shoulder.

"Oh…. It's going to get better."

"Oh Eva, I really wish you wouldn't."

"Come on, don't be a spoil sport. It's _fun_!"

"Maybe for you. But _I_ don't have any fun."

"If you tried it sometime you'd think it was fun."

"You remember though, the rule of three...."

"*sigh* Oh come on, they don't complain when they get back. They're happy with what they get."

"If Tabitha ever found out...."

"We've been over this. Now you remember what to do?"

"Yeah.... just get it over with." Eva smiled innocently and sat in the seat placed beside the telephone. She took up the phone in one hand and waried a glance to Gwen. Without looking her fingers turned the number wheel around. Gwen looked down at the phone like it might burn right through the table. The girl needed to learn how to have some fun.

"It's ringing...." Eva murmered, gazing off. Her toes wiggled with anticipation and she tried to hold them still. _Still ringing..... man, this person needs a secretary_. Gwen was starting to relax when someone picked up.

"_Yeah_." _A boy, oh, this is gunna be funny._

"Are you alone?" She tried to make her voice sound a little sexy, giving Gwen a twinkling look. It was responded by an expression of complete terror.

"What the, yeah?" She could feel him threatening to hang up, so with swiftness spat out her spell.

"Darksome and shining moon

Harken to this rune

Switch these souls through this cord

Until we wish return

In the name of the lady and lord

So mote it be!" The familiar feeling of being sucked down a drain pulled at Evas eye lids. She pushed the exstatic giddy feeling of 'being bad' aside and let her spirit slip through the phone. Passing the boy she could almost feel sorry for him. A growing fear of the unknown was rapidly overtaking him. He hadn't even gone all the way through yet. But Gwen would take care of him. Besides. There was nothing she could do about it now. 

Plopping into the new body like a drop of water into a bucket she inadvertently hiccuped. _Hee hee_. It took only a second to realign herself. She had done this almost a half a dozen times before in the past two years. Setting her Chakras back up was a part of the job. But something was off…. _What the- **YOW!**_

Clapping a pair of hands to her mouth she stifled a scream. _I'm a **turtle!!!** Oh my god, my hands!_ She took her hands from her mouth and examined them hastily. She was missing two fingers. Or they had merged into the others. These hands were large and course, but still scaly. The backs of them were smooth. Thick veins were pushed up against the surface, traveling down the wrists. Up through the muscles of huge arms like a roller coaster track. 

Her elbow kept bumping against something hard, she craned her neck around to see. It was the rim of a giant shell. Platelettes stuck out and around, smoothed down by years of friction against swaying arms. Her chest *while she had expected it to be flat* was _very_ flat. Sheiled by a dark yellow plating. She ran her meaty fingers over the dozens of nicks and scars, wondering where they all came from. Too bad she hadn't kept his memory too. _That_ might help. _Oh my goddess. This is the wierdest thing…_. **_Ever_**.

A tabby trotted in to greet her and she obligingly held out her arms to it. With a playful leap he landed in her arms. _You're new here._

"Tell me about it." Her voice was heavy, like this turtle had been finishing puberty. _Oh goodness. That reminds me_…. 

__

You look just like the mean one.

"Mean?"

__

Where'd he go?

"Um… for a trip." _For one **hell** of a trip_.

__

Good.

"So you're my cat?"

__

I own the orange one.

"The orange one you say?" _Would that be a giant tiger or something?_

You're warm. The cat ceased its pacing in her arms and laid down, beginning to purr. She could feel the vibrations reverberating through all the muscles. _How long are you staying?_

"Not too long."

__

That's too bad. Eva smiled and stroked the cats back.

"Uh… Raph?" She jerked her head up. Another turtle

__

That's the orange one.

The orange one?

He wears a little blanket on his face. It's orange.

What a wierdo.

Heh heh heh.

What's so funny.

….*puurrrrrr*

"Can…. can _I_ have Klunk?" She wondered if he was what she was looking like right now. His head was all rounded, with a…snout…. that kind of bulged out. His lips were thin, and he drew them in with worry… _for the cat?_

He thinks you're the mean one.

Does he. 

"Are… are you going to hurt Klunk?" It was fascinating to see his head draw down imperceptibly to the shell.

__

Klunk. That's your name?

That's what they call me.

So he thinks I'll hurt you… "Uh... yeah... get outa here... you.... stinkin'..... lousy..... _cat_!"

__

I like it here. I'll stay.

He's getting suspicious.

So tell him to leave. Eva leaned down to whisper to Klunk.

"Cut me some slack, alright? I'll pet you later." He looked up at her.

__

Fine. There best be a bag of cookies in the deal too though. Before she could answer Klunk stood up, baring his claws into her arms. He began to hiss and fit and ran off. "….Stupid cat." _Yeah, I'm mean. I'm a bad ass._ The orange one didn't seem to care. He straightened his neck and forgot all about it.

"Yeah…. so….. who called?" He walked past him to the phone, picking it up from the end of the cord. His walk had some quality of a swinging waddle. She hoped she didn't walk like that too. He grabbed the phone and she remembered she had forgotten to hang up. Going to grab the phone back he twisted away with lightening reflexes. That startled her more than not getting the phone. A devilishly playful smile spread across his snout as he listened in. She grabbed for it again, but came up with air. There was no way she would be faster than him. So she stood back and did her best to have her displeasure register on her face. He took the phone away from his face _Did he even have an ear?_ And looked into in. "What _is_ this?"

"I dunno." He gave her an questioning look and she grabbed the phone. This time he let her have it and she hung it up. "Wrong number." 

"Was it." She turned and left the phone, going to adventure in the new house. He followed after her, literally breathing down her neck, down her shell. If she was the 'mean one' maybe she should turn around and punch him in the face. There was a computer station she caught her eye on before she began to turn around, going to see if she could actually punch this turtle. He must be a brother, or cousin, or annoying neighbors kid or something.

"_Practice guys_!" A new voice called from somewhere.

"Practice?" What were they practicing? A dance routine? Before she could even think of socking the boy- he had taken off around her, telling her something about how she had to turn off the television. She wandered back to where the television could be heard, thanking the godess that she wasn't walking like a duck. He had been watching a basketball game and she was happy to turn it off.

_Practice, now what are they practicing?_

_They practice their dance_. Klunk sat statuesquely upon the couch, making himself look bigger then she thought he was.

_So they do dance. That's great. I don't know the routine. Maybe I can just watch._ He gently lapped at his paw.

_There's no routine this time. They're always making up something new_. He looked up, his mouth ajar_. And the big one will make you dance whether you want to or not._

_The big one?_ She felt afraid now. _How big?_

_Big. _

Crap. Eva began wiping her hands on her thighs as she found her way to the dance floor. It was the only place noise was coming from now in the house that looked like someones basement. Maybe it was a basement. Where else would a pair of giant turtles live. Who's basement though? And-

"You're with me." A turtle threw a bo at her as soon as she stepped foot through the door. At first she thought it was the orange one, but there hadn't been enough time for him to have dressed in the protective elbow and knee pads, or wrapped up his feet. This one was yet another turtle.

Eva caught the bo and stopped. She immediately looked for the big one_. How big do you have to be until you can't dance? If I was still a girl I bet I could've put the charm on until he let me go. What the hell is this thing for? _She looked down at the staff.

"Hello, let's move." A tapping at the side of her hairless head made her look up. The same boy raised his bo off and stepped back into the center of the floor. He waited for her, setting the staff end beside his foot.

"Um, yeah." She mumbled, coming out beside him. Where's the big one? She looked around again. There was yet another turtle in the corner, their parents must have been awful busy. And a giant rat talking to the first turtle. None of them struck her as particularly big.

__

Swi**shh!**

Bam!

Ow?

Eva hit the floor like a ton of bricks. She had no idea what had happened. But the boy with the bo was stepping back. Had he tripped her? _He_ was the mean one. Everyone started laughing. The boy was trying to stifle his laughter. Yeah… funny. She struggled to get back to her feet. The shell was making her rock back and forth. She managed to pull her self over, onto her stomach, and stand back up. Rather ungraceful, but no one seemed to notice. Is this part of a dance? What kind of stupid-

__

Swi**shh!**

Bam!

Ow?

She found herself staring up at the ceiling again. Once was kind of funny, but twice… She rolled herself back up.

__

Swi**ssh!**

Bam!

Ow?

What is his problem?

__

Swi**ssh!**

Bam!

__

Swi**ssh!**

Bam!

__

Swi**ssh!**

Bam!

__

Swi**ssh!**

Bam!

__

Swi**ssh!**

Bam!

The force of the fall managed to travel through the thick shell and caused a dull pain in her back. Lying again on the floor she fought back tears. _What an asshole_. She swallowed them down and looked up at the four pairs of eyes looking down on her. This is not going to plan. Was all she could think. The rat rested his hand on his brow and asked him how he was feeling. Her mind reeled for an answer. Something plausible. This was definitely not a dance class. They were all thinking she was sick, or hurt, or something like that. The rat was particularly worried. She slipped away from his hand before he could look into her mind, and rocked herself up to sit.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I just, uh... just a little distracted." She mumbled. The 'orange' one pulled her to her feet and patted her sore shell.

"Sit until you are better." The rat touched his elbow and seemed to attach a leash which to guide him from. Eva looked at the boy with the bo before following. He gave her a look that screamed 'I don't believe you' and she wanted to crawl under a chair. He turned his shell on her and she followed the rat to the benches. The three others began 'practice' by themselves.


	3. Chapter 3

A bundle of drying black flowers and satchels of herbs wrapped in cheese cloth hung from the sides of the bathroom mirror

A bundle of drying black flowers and satchels of herbs wrapped in cheese cloth hung from the sides of the bathroom mirror. Clenching the sides of the basin Raphael glared at his reflection. Long brown black hair, all wavy and twisty. High cheek bones. Big eyes. Actual lips. _Good god. I'm a girl. First chance to grope a pair of tits and their my own._ His eyes darted to the reflection a choking sound behind him. Gwen delicately pounded her chest and coughed. _A witch. This is insane_.

"This is insane." She smiled in the mirror.

"That's what most people say. But yes." She motioned her head toward the door. "This is our coven. We stay underground here like our mothers before us."

"People lived here before?" It smelt like it.

"Not here exactly. We moved to New York in the early seventeenth century and kind of roamed around." She stood up and went to rearange a flower arrangement on the can. "Once or twice every century we get evicted by some means or another. We've only been in this space for the past ten years." He shifted his eyes to her from the mirror reflection. "Tabitha brought us." She smiled.

"Tabitha... she's the-"

"High Priestess, yes. She kind of looks after us all." He eyed the resting bo for a moment before looking back at her. "She would be very angry if she found out what Eva had been doing." Gwens eyes got large and pleading. "So please don't tell her? Just play along like your Eva." He waited to see if she would continue, then pursed his lips.

"Hmmn." Making noise through his new nose sent a light tingling feeling up his temples.

"If you do, then we can grant your wish. Anything you want. As long as you keep the secret." Anything he wanted. That was an interesting thought. He could probably cut his bros in on the action too. If that's what he wanted. Wait... Strike that thought. Those bastards had made him answer the phone to begin with. If there was going to be any action, it would be his.

Raphael began getting hard at the thought. _Oh shit... I don't even have **that** anymore._ He looked down and felt a great sense of loss. 

__

I'm such a.... girl. He didn't know what to think about being in this new body. Everything felt weird. Especially without a shell. He never knew what it had felt like to have an actual ass. Or boobs. He just couldn't get over that one. Would he have to wear lingerie? _Holy shit! Do I have a boyfriend? Is he going to touch me? Arrrggh!!_!

"I am so, _so_ incrediblely sorry." She came up to him, still managing to keep her distance. He was surprised she hadn't bitten off her finger already. "I can-" She gasped and he almost dove for the bo. But it was only her own rumintating. "A second wish, that's it!" Her eyes bubbled over with happiness. He stepped away from the sink. He had never seen something like that before. "You can have two wishes!" She clapped. "Yes yes!"

"Uh.... sure." Gwen closed her eyes in an exstatically glad smile. _Well. As long as I'm getting paid for this._ Raphael turned back to the mirror and continued to glare. He fought, but eventually his eyes shifted back to the girl. Aside from April he had never seen one this up close before. Surely he had rescued countless girls from the face of danger. But never had he even spoken this much to one. She was so.... girl like.

"Evie? Gwen? Are you in there?" A muffled voice came to them through the door. Gwen jolted and he leapt for the bo, taking position at the end of the bathroom for battle. He hunched his shoulders like a cat and prepared to spring as Gwen gathered her senses.

"Uh, _yeah_! Yeah, we're in here." She went to the mirror and hastily combed her fingers through her already fine hair.

"Are you ok? We heard yelling?"

"OH, uh... Eve just won some concert tickets!... she called a radio show!" Raphael lowered the bo as Gwen turned to look at him. He some how caught the meaning in her eyes and continued.

"....yeah, I called in." She seemed to feel a little better and took his shoulder gently. He walked ahead of her and she guided him out, opening the door for him. An older woman stepped back to let them pass, giving him a gracious smile. 

"Well congratulations Evangeliene. What concert will you see?" He gauged her in her 40s or so, greying brown hair, and very light blue eyes. Her skirt swung gracefully as she stepped aside and she held opened palms to her chest.

"Um... ICP." Raphael muttered as Gwen pressed him onward. The woman called after that 'that was nice.' But he wasn't interested. He was being lead back into the giant basement again. Bed linens were hung all from the cieling to shift off rooms, a set or so of hammocks tied up within. They seemed to lead off infinately in a maze which Gwen pulled him through, ducking through several sheeted shortcuts. Drying satchels and flowers were hung here and there, and Raphael couldn't figure out how they kept getting attatched to his head. 

They wound up in one of the booths alone and Gwen began picking the florets out of his hair before he could slap them out himself. There was a pair of hammocks, one above the other, which occupied most of the space. A little dresser was packed to the brim so as the drawers could hardly close. The bed sheet walls were cluttered with photographs safety pinned to them. Raphael put his hand down and allowed Gwen to groom him unmaimed.

"So who's ICP?" She asked softly, almost right into his ear. He huffed out his nose. What dork doesn't know ICP.

"Insane clown posse." Her fiddling hands froze and she looked at him skeptically.

"Huh?"

"Geez, you mus'nt get out very of'n." He muttered.

"Well no. Not really. What the Insane Clown Pussy?"

Raphael and Gwen sat in the top hammock while she milked him for information about ICP, and any other band he happened to mention. Then they told each other about their families, oddly sucked into a psychologically depthful talk. Raphael realized this only after he finished explaining Mike's childish balancing behavior. A quirky expression came over his face and he stared off. Apparently some of Dons gibberish has rubbed off. Gwen filled in the akward moment, telling him about her older sister. He forgot about his brothers again and reclined in his half of the hammock. She did the same.

Gwen reached over to open the dresser behind her, tipping her entire half over. Raphael grabbed her around the waist and felt her gasp. She looked back at him and smiled.

"Um, thanks." He held on as she stretched back and rummaged through the open drawer. She leaned forward as he pulled her back in, and produced a bag of 'gummi worms'. It had been torn open, and was half empty. Gwen smiled again. "Here." She took out a handful and put it in his hand as he released her. Looking at all of them, so revoltingly reminiscent of Donatellos homemade 'gummi turtles', he felt as though he hadn't eated all day. He threw them all into his mouth at once, smearing his hand over his face to get them in. Then he realized how small this mouth was to his. A good dozen worms fell down onto his lap. His eyes shifted down and a free hand proceeded to pick them each up. Gwen hid her laughter behind her hand and he next gave her a nasty look, simultaneously chewing. "That's just how Eva does it too."

"Ijh Iea." His words were muffled through his hand. She was fighting a grin, the sides of her mouth being pulled at against her will. Her hand dipped back into the bag and she proceeded to smear the worms into her mouth as well. They fell all over the place and he finally appreciated how funny looking it was.

"Ook, I'm Aph!" She held her hands up in a classic 'Ta da!'. He frowned and slowly swallowed. Gwen giggled with her mouth full and began picking the extra candy up. Raphael took one of the remaining worms, holding it contemplatively for a moment. A strange urge over took him just for a split second. He raised his wrist back, then tossed it into the gapping part of her shirt, right between her breasts. As soon as it landed he thought he might throw up. He could hardly believe he had just done that.

Gwen gasped and looked into her shirt. She looked at him and drew in her breath in such a way which articulated her appallment. Raphael didn't dare move, the surprise on his face just the same as hers.

"Why you..." She grabbed another worm and threw it down _his_ shirt. He looked at it, then at her. Then it it... at her. Gwen laughed out loud, falling backwards against the pillow.

"Well, we'll see about that." Raphael grabbed a handful out of the back and tossed them in her air space. The tiny bombs bounded off her face and chest and she sat back up.

"Oh!" She laughed somemore and threw them back. Soon it was an all out worm war, leaving them both laughing, and hyperventilating, and covered in candy.


	4. Chapter 4

Practice was running late, heavy panting filled the dojo

Practice was running late, heavy panting filled the dojo. The crack of blade against blade began to slow as even the eldest students eyes wandered to their master to await a sign to cease. Michelangelo shoved his blade beneath his arm pit and stumbled a few steps.

"Bllaaaaah!" He declared, falling to the ground, rolling out of the way of his sparring brothers. Don and Leo both stopped to watch the melodramatic preformance. Their chests heaved as if they had been running for many miles.

"Hai." Splinter grunted, getting to his feet. Donatello set his hands on his thighs and leaned over, drawing in long breaths. He watched with mild fascination as his master came to Michelangelos playfully writhing side and knelt. 

Leonardo and Donatello moved around Mike with their master and looked down at him. Mikes eyes popped open and looked around to everyone standing around him. Splinters brow was furrowed deeply.

"Um... I din' really stab myself. See, I just put it here like this an'-" 

"Thank you, Michelangelo." Splinter rested his hand on his sons shoulder to keep him from displaying his masterful trick. "I have seen it before."

"Oh. Right." 

"Is practice over?" Don asked, trying to hid the hopefulness in his voice. Splinter nodded.

"Yes. I apoligize for holding you here so long.... I have been trying to link my mind to your brothers. He has acted very strangely this day."

"Yeah, now that ya mention it, he was actin' all wierd before practice too." Michelangelo whispered, going to sit up. Splinters hand pushed him back down again.

"How so, Michelangelo."

"Uh... I dunno. Someone called. He was acting really suspicious about it I guess." His eyes became shifty.

"_Who_ called."

"Mow, Now." Mike shrugged.

"Do you think somethings *breath* wrong, Master *breath* Splinter?" Leonardo asked.

"I have sensed a new entity in Raphael. It has blocked me out thus far, but it is there." Splinters brow deepened. "I am not sure what it has planned for your brother. We must purge it as soon as possible." Three pairs of eyes trained onto Raphael, begining to slink out of the room. "You may need to restrain him." Michelangelo rolled back to his feet beside his brothers. Leonardo began sending minute signals to his brothers as to box Raphael in. He was almost out the door though. "Do not startle him." Splinters hushed voice came from behind. Mike acted first.

"_Hey Raph!_" He spun around to face them all. "_You wanna.... take a shower?!_" An akward moment past. "Uh, I mean... _I'm gunna take a shower! You wanna come?!_" Mike and Leo were closing in.

"Uh.... that's ok." Raph backed out of the dojo.

"Well you still need to run your laps. You didn't do anything today." Leonardo filled in. Don had slipped out the side door and was coming in around the right.

"I'll do 'em later." Raph gave him a nod, walking backwards faster. His foot caught on one of the computer cables and he stumbled back a few steps. Klunk came out from one of his hidey holes. "I'm uh... going to a movie. See ya."

"Hi Raph!" Don stopped Raph in his tracks as he turned around. "Wanna play a computer game?"

"Huh?" Mike and Leo jumped in from behind, grabbing either arm. "_Hey_!" He began struggling and writhing like alittle girl. "_Lemme go_!" The awe inspiring strength and dexterity of Raphael was clumsily put to use in making an escape. He screamed and kicked as they dragged him into Splinters room, a simple subway car. Mike and Leo forced him into the chair and continued to hold him down. Donatello took a second to retreive the nylon rope from his workplace and return. He tied Raphael down around his arms, chest, and legs. To make extra sure Leo had him grab the duck tape too.

When Splinter returned he found Raphael bound like an escaped prisoner to his chair, and three guards standing by. Dispite their hours of sparring, they appeared to have more than enough energy to hog tie their brother. With such precision he suspected they had done so times before.

"Thank you, my sons." They each nodded modestly. "If you'll excuse us now." Leonardo became instantly upset, as he had a custom to.

"But master, are you sure?" 

"Yes, Leonardo. Please wait outside until I call you." He said softly, clasping his hands together over his stomach. His sons filed out upon his command, closing the door quietly behind them.

"This is insane. _You can't do this!_" Raphael insisted. Splinter nodded to himself and took a seat on the end of his bed. "Aw damn it."

"Calm yourself. And we will both leave here faster." 

"Yeah right." Splinter pulled his old legs up onto the bed to sit. Ignoring the further pleas of his son, he closed his eyes, begining the focus.

A painful pressure brought Raphael from his dream like state. Something new and uncomfortable. It was dark out, but it didn't take him long to remember what had happened to him. Losing a good hundred pounds and a shell was the big tip off. 

He must've fallen asleep. The whole place was quiet and dark, as if a blanket of shadows had descended silently durring the night. The sounds of soft breath whispered not far off. Both of the blankets had been pulled over him and Gwen, and two pillows had been propped up in the gathering of the hammock. She was laying right beside him. Still fast asleep. Her arm had wandered over and rested on his chest, fingers twined about his hair. He found one of his legs inexplicably wound around hers as he worked his way out. It became more difficult than he had anticipated. His leg refused to free itself after the top of him was already halfway climbing out of the hammock. As he turned back to rectify the situation his foot inexplicabely became free and he fell to the floor.

"Ohw-why-I-grum-dum-all" He grumbled quietly as he picked himself up off the floor. He held onto his shoulder which had bore the brunt of the fall, and went back to the hammock. The blankets were half falling off and he pulled them back straight. Gwen had rolled onto her stomach without him there. He lifted the veil of hair off her face from where it had falled. She let out a slow breath. He couldn't wake her up now.

Raphael stepped away from her side and went to the door break. He stuck his head outside and checked around. No one was outside, he could see the telephone from where he was. One good thing about being lighter was that it was even _easier_ to stealth about. He slipped to the phone silently and regained his bearings. His eyes adjusted well to the darkness and he spotted the outline of a door. He couldn't tell if it was closed, so he snuck up to it as well, placing his hand against the door jamb. He got the sense it was open. No sounds came from within.

He slipped inside equally as noiselessly and closed the door. His hand trailed up and down the inside of the wall. Eventually it hit a switch, and a lamp turned on by the door. _Easy as pie_. Raphael gave himself a hardy adulation. Yes, he knew what he was doing. Nothing to be afraid of.

Raph stealthed to the end of the bathroom and looked down at the toilet. _Yeah… nothing to be afraid of. No way._

****

Authors note

****

For the sake of mankind I am not going to show this part. I'm sure you yourselves can think of something suitablely hilarious and humbling for Raph to do. Alright then. On with the story.

****

Raphael returned to Gwens room, his face, he was sure, was completely red. He couldn't wait for the day when he would at last forget the entire 'bathroom episode.' But he could tell it wouldn't be for a long time. 

He found Gwen still fast asleep. She hadn't appeared to have moved at all since he had left. The grey cream colored hair had fallen back over her face. He pulled it out of her mouth carefully, and ran in around the back of her ear. A tiny shiver went through her as the tip of his finger ran over her earlobe. His hand finished running down the lock of hair, and returned to his side. That helped him forget.

Raphael spread the sides of the lower hammock out as he sat down. The hinges squeaked and he jammed his feet on the ground to stop the swinging. Keeping still for a few moments, the hinges refused to make another noise. He brought his legs up slow and laid them in. The fabric opened as he laid back. The hinges began squeaking again and he struggled around to grab them. They squealed and he swore to himself.

"Damnit!" Pretty soon he gave up and laid straight in the hammock, waiting with impatience for it to stop swinging. He noticed his skirt was lying over the edge and dragging about on the ground. He sat up to fix it and the whole thing started swaying like a pirates boat. "God-" His fist jammed into his mouth to stifle the rest of his cursing and he laid back quickly, his shoulders tightened up against him. "Grrrrrrrrr."

A moan came from above and he stopped his grumbling. Gwen shifted about, her arm fell over the side. She seemed alleiviated and fell back asleep.

Her hand was so small. Delicate. Fingers which loosely curled in on themselves looked like they might shatter if they fell the the ground. Those hands… were for playing piano, or holding a paint brush… the _right_ way. They could never hold on to the leather grip of a sai, or a sword.

His hands had become thick and course from his early years of weapon play. The heavy fingers which would wordlessly hoist the side of the couch seemed a clumsy feint memory now. Hands which could stop a mans heart with one jab…. he could see the their counterpart now. This new hand, so full of motion. These hands wouldn't hurt. They wouldn't take shit. They were so…. human?

He ceased his examination of his fingers, and gazed at Gwens hand. Tentatively aligning his fingers, he brought them as close to touching tip to tip with hers as he dared. He could feel a familiar electric energy coming from them. 

Her fingers closed around his, holding him with a tired gentleness. He slid his hand back and rested it over his stomach. Her hand limped and rested back in it's place. Maybe he'd like to learn piano sometime.

"_Bah! Cut it out!_" Leonardo gave a wary glance to the locked door of his sensei. It had been many hours since he had even heard noises from the room. Many looooong hours. It was now sometime in the early morning. Neither he nor his other brothers would go to bed, not without hearing word from Splinter. That stayed up, absently watch tv together. No one thought to speak.

Hopefully that their brother was safe. That he had contracted some simple disease *emphasis on simple* that had confused the energies in him. That their was something they could treat. 

"_Damnit! You suck!_" But his recent outbursts, which could likely be heard far into the bowels of the underground, were less and less encouraging. Sick or no, none of them could ever utter a sharp or condescending word to Splinter. Even in some hallucinatory drug induced frenzy, it seemed almost proposterous. Even for Raphael. "_Leave me alone!_" 

The door slid open, with Splinters back facing them. At least a dozen new grey hairs were visible in the bright lights. Leonardo, Donatello, and Michelangelo stood and stepped forward, failing to disguise their eagerness. A reheated bucket of fried chicken sat only half empty on the computer table. Perfunctionarily nibbled upon.

"Michelangelo.... Donatello. Go talk with Raphael." Splinter turned his head only enough for the words to reach their ears from his mouth. Leonardo watched his brothers jog swiftly into the car. Splinter stepped out and closed the door. Leaving it ajar.

"What is it Master?" Leonardo hastily ventured. Splinter let out a long sigh. Leo took it as a sign to draw him some tea and quickly made his way to the kitchen. The water seemed to take forever to boil, but soon he had the cup ready. He returned to the den to find his master in his seat. Kneeling before it, he offered to cup. "What is it Master?" It was taken and a shorted sigh ensued.

"It is true, Leonardo. Raphael has.... a new entity has inhabited Raphael. He is... no longer your brother." His stomach leapt up his throat. No matter how many times Leonardo wished it would happen, he never really anticipated anything of such a magnitude occuring. Splinter took a long sip. "This new... person... is reluctant to admit, or express her intentions with Raphael."

"Her?"

"Many of the energies she has given off are very feminine. I strongly believe this is a girl who has taken over your brothers body. But that is not important now. What is important is returning Raphael to his body.

Leonardo, when an entity chooses inhabits a form, it does so because the form is vacant of a life force. But... *sip*.... When this form is already inhabited by a life form, either the space must be shared between the two.... *sip*.... or one of the two must be eliminated from the body."

"What does it mean?" Splinter looked down at his son.

"Raphaels life force is a very strong one. It is one which I did not sense.... Although this new entity seems to have no ill intentions, I fear she has.... eliminated Raphael from the body so she may inhabit it." Leonardo swallowed hard. He feared something as such had occured. Maybe not in such detail. "If this is so, than Raphael will still be near somewhere."

"Then we must reverse it all. Put _Raphael_ back." Leonardo interjected. Splinter paused, then took another long sip.

"It may be too late for that Leonardo. Most life forces cannot exist on their own, without a body. They must join with something to give them form. I regret to say that I had not taught you or your brothers yet to become one with new objects. It can be a difficult skill in astral travel.

But there is a chance that Raphael found a way to a new host. If so, then we can still rescue him. I have come out to try and search for him here in the lair, where he is likely to be. Speaking with...." Splinter gave a long gaze toward the door. "....Kept me from extending my senses." Leonardo followed his gaze to the door. "She is a clever one. I fear she may wreak more havoc in our home if her mind is not occupied."

"That's why you sent Mike and Don." He nodded.

"She should be entertained by conversation for some time. Hopefully enough for me to find Rapahel." ...._Should he even be here_.... Leonardo finished in his thoughts. Where would his brother go if he couldn't find a new host? _He'd be dead you fool._ If that was so, he would kill that bitch. Get rid of her parasitic energy once and for all..... _Bitch_.

__

Shhhhhhhhhhh-lip

stack 

stack 

stack

Shhhhhhhhhhh-lip

stack 

stack-

It felt like only minutes after Raphael had dozed off that he was awakened again. The bittersweet strands of rest slowly drained to the back of his mind, begrudgingly settling back down for a few moments. An irritated eye squinted open. The room was still clouded by darkness. That didn't necessarally mean it wasn't morning. But it sure didn't feel like it.

Raphael rolled over to his other side, a single eyes looking over the edge of his bed. 

__

Shhhhhhhhhhh-lip

stack 

stack

stack

A series of cards were drawn and laid out on the cool floor. Although his vision was blurred, he could somewhat make out pictures on them. Bigger than playing cards._ What did they call those.... Taro?_

"Tarot." Gwen mumbled.

"Mmn." Raphael swung a leg out and rolled out of the hammock, letting it sqeak and squeal in protest. He dropped to his knees heavily opposite her and looked down at the cards she now glared at. Picking one up he studied it carefully now. There was a naked man on it. "....You sure about that....?" He flipped it between his fingers to face her, catching it when it nearly flung out of his hands. She seemed to have been hit with a jolt.

"These are Eve's!" She insisted. 

"Mm hmm." He laid it back down again in it's place. Maybe she didn't like looking at naked guys. Well, neither did he, so he shouldn't fault her for that.... wait....

"I'm trying to see what's keeping her." She whispered, straightening the card out again. "She's... um.... doesn't usually take this long."

"Oh." He yawned. "What does it say?" She frowned at that.

"It won't tell me about her. This is the second draw, and I keep getting almost all the same cards." Her fingers dotted over some of them. "They're not answering me at all."

"That's too bad." She nodded and proceeded to collect them back up again. "You gunna try again?" He watched her stand back up and return the deck to the dresser. She stood by it after the drawer was closed. He could sense something heavy on her mind. Something that wasn't there last night. "What is it."

"....Something's wrong."

"_What's wrong_."

"I don't know.... Eva is usually back in about fifteen or twenty minutes. Hour tops. Something's just.... very wrong."

"And _hour tops_?"

"Evas in trouble. I... we... think.... um...." She turned around to face him, begining to chew on her finger. Raphael nearly bolted to his feet.

"_What do you mean **trouble**, what's wrong, why am I not back yet_-"

"_I don't know_." She hissed to quiet him. "I... she was supposed to call back and reverse the spell. Something must be stopping her, otherwise she _would have_."

".....Then _where the hell is she?!_" Gwen continued to chew her pinky, looking into the photographs. "Arrgh!"

"Come on, we have to tell Tabitha." She reluctantly took his hand from him and began the walk out. Raphael followed behind obediently. Being a human had been a trip *no thanks to having been a girl* But he realized he had become accustomed to his turtle form. Even if he was a normal human male now, he could never be fully comfortable without a shell, and a big beak. Or all the extra fingers and toes. Hair, clothing, retarded human maintenance. He was actually _eager_ to be back in his old body. Although the new face had been kind of funny, it would be some time before he could look back on the whole 'breasts' thing and have a good laugh.

Gwen lead him out into part of the lair he hadn't seen yet (which would be most of it), and into a sort of alter room. Two woman kneeled by a long alter doing something. Five or six candels were lite, making the room the brightest of all. It was a little cold. On the floor some giant symbols were carved which Raphael didn't understand. A fountain of running water and censer of inscense were going.

The two woman at the alter both wore long yellow robes, tied around the waist and with large hoods which covered their faces for the most part. One was heavy set, and a bit shorter than the other. This one turned about first. She stepped aside as her friend turned to them, and they both pulled the hoods back. The first woman had dark hair which was cut in a bob around her chin, she looked in her mid forties. The second was older. Or looked so. Her hair was a breeze blown greying brown, which looked as if it would rest around her shoulders if she unpinned it. Her eyes were soft shade of blue, and were gently accentuated with many crows feet. She looked to be somewhere in her mid fifties.

"Evangeliene, Gwendolyn. Is something the matter." She asked. Her voice was commanding, but soft. A little on the deep side. Gwen cleared her throat and stepped forward, dragging Raphael behind her. The three of them sat on the floor and she began explaining the whole tail.

From start to end, it was shorter than he had expected it to be. Gwens explaination left out the repeated spells Eva had done and all about the exchange for wishes. Other than that all the basics were there. Even about the tarot cards. It seemed to just spill out of her mouth. And as it did, Raphael found himself drawing his knees closer and closer against him as Tabithas eyes drifted to his.

"You brought an outsider down?"

"We do it all the time! I mean, everyone does."

"People we know, Gwen. People we know." Tabitha corrected "We don't invite strangers.... we don't force strangers." Gwen hund her head.

"I know...."

"If you truly knew you wouldn't have done this. Both you and Evangeliene will be punished in time." Gwen nodded. "But.... we cannot have any more strangers learning our secrets." Tabithas gaze shifted back to Raphael. Gwen nodded again. "I think even one is too many."

"What," Gwen looked up. "No, Raph can keep a secret, Right Raph?" They both looked at him. He nodded.

"Uh, yeah. Sure. Course."

"Yeah." Gwen looked back to the high priestess.

"No Gwen, he can't-"

"Tabitha!"

"We don't know him. He can be a wolf is sheeps clothing for all we know!" The whole idea that they were talking about this in front of him didn't make him feel confident about his chances of getting back.

"But he's not! If you had a chance to know him you would see! But there's no time! We have to find Eva!"

"I agree we must find Eve, but as for him-" Gwen had already grabbed Raphaels hand and was running out the door. "Gwendolyn!"


	5. Chapter 5

"Soooooo... Raph." The brothers exchanged glances. Michelangelo drew his lips in and folded his hands behind his back, gingerly stepping about the room. "How's going....?" Don watched closely for a response. Raphael raised his eyeridge. "You..... _hungry_?"

"I'm tired." He informed them.

"_You want some crackers! I have some under my bed!_" Mike chirped. Raphael looked at Don, then back to Mike. The back door nearly bashed its way through the catches as Michelangelo leapt to the other room. Don grimaced.

"He's been drinking a lot of coffee." Mike came leaping back in, clutching a box of 'nilla wafers' out in front of him.

"_See_! Crackers!" He set them on Raphaels lap and stepped back. ".... _Have some!_" Don looked at the box, then at Raphaels wrists, nearly merged against the arms of the chair with duct tape, then at Raph. He was looking rather dryly at Michelangelo, whos grin was beginning to fade.

"Magnificent." 

"Mike, will you put these back in the kitchen." Don took the box back and gave it to Mike. He frowned and returned them to his room. "Do you want some water or something?"

"Sure. Water."

"Mike, get some water." Don called back. "Anything else?"

"....I can't feel my fingers. Can you take some of this crap off already." Donatello frowned. 

"You can't feel your fingers?" They must've taped it too tight. The circulation was getting cut off. He came forward and knelt by the chair. "Lemme see." The shiny grey tape came about three inches up from the wrist. He took up the free fingers and began examining them.

The next thing he remembered was being on the ground, up against Splinters bed. He was coming to, just as Mike was running in with the water. A jumble of rope and tape was left beside the chair. Raphael was no where to be found. Almost. A pair of feet disapeared out the top of the car, through the escape hatch. _Aptly named_, he mused.

"**Hey**!" He struggled to his feet. Mike yelped and dropped the glass, looking at the empty seat. Reverberating footsteps bonged across the top of the metal roof. The ceiling puckered in as each foot made a heavy landing. Don stuttered. "_Wai-Hold-**STOP**!_"

Leonardo leapt up the crate staircase, drawing his swords. He knew he had equipped them for something. He adjusted his grip on the hilts as he landed upon the roof of the last car. The rythmical and pounding sounds from Raphaels less than graceful sprinting made the subway sound as if the trains were running again.

Raising his swords, Leonardo prepared himself to restrain the oncoming turtle at all costs. He was tempted to hurt her, but didn't want to injure his brothers body. He still needed it. Then again, a wound might persuade the spirit to vacate. _Hmm...._

Raphael stopped short at the other end of the car, skidding short on his heels. Waving his swords in a more graceful manner, Leo displayed the sharp blades. Mike and Don were the next out onto the train cars, but didn't think to come up on them.

"That's far enough."

"Look, I just wanna get outa here."

"Well... you'll have to get through me first." She seemed to think on this for a minute,

"Fair enough." He let his swords down just so as he and his brothers came forward. She closed her eyes. Donatello jumped down to get some more rope.

Leonardo fought to hold his swords as he flew off the train car. The paper recycling bin softened his fall with a definite 'Thrunch'. Dozens of papers flew up in a puff of literature. _What the hell?_

He grabbed the rim of the container and pulled himself up. Raphael hopped off each of stair crates, down to the floor. He missed a few steps, but picked right up, making a bee line for the ladder topside. Leo went to rock himself out, and stopped.

Splinters cane rested on the floor, and caught Raphaels foot. With a yelp he fell forward. Straight onto his beak. Leonardo cringed. Don and Mike emmerged down on the ground and stood back. A painful groan emmanated through the otherwise silent lair as Splinter looked down on his son.

"Where the **_hell_** are we going?!" Raphael shouted as Gwen threw open the main door. He looked back, but no one was following. "_Hey_-" She jerked his arm again and pulled him outside.

"C'mon!" She hissed. It was his first look outside. It looked like somewhere in the village. Definitely much safer than his side of town. He didn't get a real good look before Gwen pulled him into an alley. A rather clean alley. At least no bums. When she pressed him against the wall, he could feel the individual creases of the bricks against his back. "Raphael, do you trust me?"

"Huh?"

"_C'mon!_ Do you trust me?"

"What, uh... yeah, I guess." She furrowed her brow. The street lamp cut her face into shadows, but he could still make out an unpleased look as her hair began falling in front of her eyes. She tossed it back quickly and asked again.

"_You have to be sure!_" Sure? Did he trust her? Could he trust her? Well, he trusted her so far. Why not go all the way.

"Yeah. I mean, yes. Yes I trust you."

"Good. Now say 'In perfect love, in perfect trust.'"

"**_!!!!!What?!_**"

"_Say it!_ And mean it!" She hissed. _Geez! Is she pushy or what. What would be next 'propose to me or else!'_ "_Hurry_!" Alright, well he trusted her. He guessed he could love her.... like a sister! Yeah.... like, um... a sister.

"_Alright,_ alright. In perfect love, in perfect trust." He watched as her hands slid into his. They locked through his fingers and pressed them palm to palm. That same electricity ran up his spine, and he fought an urge to shiver it out. In perfect love, in perfect trust. He felt like a feather. Or he felt like he weighed a feather. His breath was coming from far down in his stomach. Gwen looked up at him slowly, a glassy look to her eyes. 

And that's when it happened. Raphael had never been in an airplane before. Had never sky dived, or parasailed. But he knew undeniably he was flying. Or floating at least. Looking down he saw the ground at least a few inches below where his feet were. His skirt rippled with an updraft of the alley. Then he was higher. Several feet. Then a good story up. Then above the rooftops. He could see all the air ducts from the buildings, and down to the cars parked on the street, and up at the black sky all at the same time.

"Let's get you home." Gwen said. But her voice was like in a sleepy stupor. She shook it out of her head, and released on of his hands.

"Uh...." That's when the flying started. Over the buildings, like a pair of birds. Or a pair of supermen. The cool night air turned into a wind as they flew through it. He could feel it flow all the way down his shirt, and it was cold as a bitch.

"You're going to have to show me where you live, Raphael. Tell me how to get there."

"Well...." Oh great. He got to take her to his home. What a nauseating thought.

"Just guide us there. I'll do this stuff."

"Um.... yeaaaaah...." They veered off to the left. "_Holy cow!_" He had done that. Gwen giggled. 

"That's it."

"Right..." They sped along over the city. Far enough up so they wouldn't be spotted by the winking lights of cars below. Or by the lights of appartments buildings beside them. They even passed Aprils station. But the lights in her office were out.

Flying around above the city, he almost forgot what he was up there for. The darkness before dawn swallowed him whole. Literally. He closed his eyes and savored the feeling of swimming through the color black.

The trip took shorter then he had began to hope. Soon they were diving down over the rivers edge, around into an open pipe the size of a minivan. It still was a long walk though, so they continued to fly. The closer they got, the more Raphael dreaded getting home. So far Gwen had said nothing about their whereabouts. But she was in for a surprise when he had to show her that he actually lived down here.

"Is this it?" She asked, just as he was trying to pass the door over. He hoped it was too dark for her too see. But there it was. The stupid lights were on. They stopped, and finally touched ground. It felt like he suddenly put on a million pounds, and had to grab the wall to keep from falling to his knees. The familiar edge in the wall seemed so shallow with his new fingers, he chipped a nail.

"_Damn it!_" It didn't feel nice. He began picking at it, then saw Gwen, looking down the ladder to the lair. _Damn it!_ "Well..... come on." He walked around the otherside, forgetting about the nail. He knelt down, hitching his skirt up, and grabbed the first rung. He never realized how grungy the ladder really was. _Ew_. Swinging a barefoot down onto a lower rung he climbed down, not risking the possibility of the event in which he made another ass of himself by sliding down.

The floor seemed colder than usual. He bit his lip and hopped aside for Gwen to climb down. Looking around the den, he didn't see any of his family out. He could tell they were there by the bucket of chicken on the table, and Leos swords were resting beside them. He would never have left without them. And he would never have left them laying around either. Gwen joined him and gave a little squeak when her feet hit the floor. She didn't notice the swords.

"_Yo_!" Raphael cupped his hands to his mouth and hollered. A head suddenly peeked out of Splinters room like it had been waiting there. Obviously. A pair of brown eyes blinked a few times. Mike emmerged from the room, pulling out his nunchucks. He got in a ready/defensive stance, and Leonardo came out after him. Gwen shrieked. "Hey, assbite. It's _me_!"

"_Raph_!" They chimed. He could help but let out a playful and triumphant laugh. Side sitting on the railing, he slid down the stairs. The longer legs made it a little hard, but he kept his balance. When he hit the ground he stumbled a few steps, then looked back. 

"Heh." That wasn't so hard. 

"_Raph_! You're here!" Mike and Leo ran up to him and they exchanged the family 'secret handshake.' A series on clasping handed and bopping knuckles which confimed his identity. 

"Yeah, think you could get ridda' me, huh?" Mike laughed.

"Wow.... You're lookin' _gooooood_." He gave him a once over. "....._Reeeeeeeal_ goooood." He gave another very slow once over. Raphael suddenly felt very dirty.

"Hey, fuck off, Ass!" He pushed him back. Mike just laughed. Leonardo chuckled too. Then Mike caught a glimpse of Gwen, which took his mind to a semi-more appropriate place. He gave her a long look too. Although this one was more surveying then scoping. 

"Who's she?" A combination of 'who's that person you brought down here we don't know' and 'who's she? Does she have a date for this saturday or what?' Raphael looked back at Gwen. She still stood on the upper platform, looking less frazzled than she first had.

"Oh, hey Gwen, _come on down!_" He called. He could see her swallow as she came down the steps. By this time Donatello had come out to see what what happening.

"Raph, are you ok? Where've you been." Leonardo demanded.

"I'm fine,_ where the hell's my body!_"

"Um. In there." Mike nodded to Splinters room. "Hey." He nodded as Gwen came to stand beside Raphael.

"This is Gwen. I've been staying with her. These are my brothers. Leo, Mike, and Don." They nodded in succesion. Except for Mike, who got on one knee and kissed her hand.

"Mon cherie!" An excited twinkle in is eye tempted Raphael to kick him between the legs. Gwen blushed.

"Yeah, that's nice." Raphael pulled him up. "Now where's my damn body." He marched into Splinters room, dragging Mikey with him. "Let's fini-" He stopped short as he saw himself. It was like looking into a living mirror. That was him. But it wasn't. That was very much him, covered in duct tape, rope, and even a few chains, to a kitchen chair.

Splinter sat beside him, and almost gave a gasp as he saw Raphael. A bemused smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. Thankfully he didn't snicker like his brothers. That would just be unbearable. Gwen squeeze in beside Mike, and looked down at the bound turtle. She froze, then hid her mouth behind her hand.

"Oh my god.... Eva?" The nearly black eyes opened and turned her way. 

"M-Mph! _Mmm-Mphhh!!_" Gwen fought to hold the laughter back.

"_What the hell did you do?!_" Raph shook Mike. He wasn't strong enough to shake much fear into him. It was more like flipping the milk container before drinking, rather than shaking up a can of soda so it blew all over the place. Mike just laughed at him. "_Damn it!_"

"She tried to escape, so we had to tie her up." Don slipped in a pulled the tape off the mouth.

"_EEEEOOOW_! Hey! That _really_ _hurt_!"

"Sorry."

"Here. Let's get you undone and outa here." Gwen came forward to untie her friend.

"Thank god-"

"One second." Leonardo squeezed in as well and grabbed Gwens arm. "Not so fast." Raphael groaned.

"For crying out loud. Let's get this _over with_ already."

"I want to hear the whole story first."

"Aw geez." 

"Why don't you all sit down and talk. It might take awhile to even get her out of all this." Gwen said softly.

"_Hell yeah!_" Mike grinned. Leonardo and Raphael sat with Splinter on the bed as Mike, Don, and Gwen began to task of untaping Eva from the chair. Often Gwen or Eve would have to fill in the places Raphael didn't know. Which was pretty often. 

By the time they were untying her ankles, the tale was finished.

"Wow! You got to fly?! That is _so cool!_" Mike exclaimed. "Did you use a broom or something?"

"Shut up, Mike." Raphael mumbled.

"You flew? How'd you do that?" Eva asked quietly. Gwen shrugged as Don undid the last knot. "Ack." She shook off the rest of the ropes and stood up quickly. 

"Well......." Splinter stood up, and a his sons stood back. Fatiged eyes slowly moved between the two girls, giving them a sizing up of his own. Eva rubbed her wrists absently, trying to brush off the sticky tape glue, while Gwen hung her head in shame. "It appears that no harm has been done. That your intentions have been purely in..... play." Gwen looked up.

"We are so, _so_ sorry." She met each of their eyes. They seemed to mirror an exhausted forgiveness for her. When Eva flashed a smile Leonardo made sure she noticed his frown. Mike, Don, and Splinter however had already forgiven her as well. "Here, let's um... get this done with." Gwen grabbed her arm, and pulled her out of the cramped car. 

"Ow, hey, cut it out!"

"Come on Raph." She positioned the two in front of each other, as Raphaels family filed out of the car to watch. "Just relax." Eva murmered some obscenities and fidgeted around as she prepared. Gwen stepped back and watched as her friend threw a spell off the top of her head. She pressed her green hands against her old pink ones. Nearly jolting as Raphaels spirit dove for his old body, Eva circulated back to _her_ own. For a split second in the process, both bodies, being unoccumpied, looked undeniably dead. Leonardo turned to a mass of strained muscles.

Raphael stumbled backwards and fell onto his shell with a 'thud'. Evangeliene stepped back, and quickly reset her chakras. She closed her eyes and shook her head out. Don and Leo leapt forward to help Raphael back to his feet. He wobbled a bit, and held onto both brothers to keep his footing.

"Hey, you ok?" Gwen touched Evas shoulder. She nodded, long dark wavy hair bouncing.

"Yeah. Whew. What a trip." She flashed a grin and quickly ran her hands over her arms and face, as if remembering where everything was. "I'm so glad to have my center of gravity back. Ha!" Raphael pulled back from his brothers, and they set him down on the arm of the couch. His shoulders slumped forward and he looked at his knees. A new strong hunger had taken him out of no where. He felt like hurling. Everything was out of place. He shifted about and frowned, trying to set himself back into place. Still didn't feel right.

"Raph...." He looked up at Gwen. She was in front of him, his brothers had stepped aside, still staring at the pair of them. _Everyone_ was watching them. He frowned and looked back at Gwen. She pursed her lips, looking down, and began chewing on her finger.

"Hey." He mumbled. She smiled and looked back up, taking the finger out of her mouth. The others turned away, pretending not to be listening. Eva even went as far as to whistle a 'inconspicious' tune. Mikey caught on and began humming along as they wandered around the den.

"How do you feel?" He closed his eyes and inadvertently let out a giant yawn. Donatello followed suit. "Tired?"

"Like shit."

"Yeah... you know how to meditate?" He nodded. "Well, do that a few times. You'll feel better pretty soon.... being away so long did that."

"Mm." He nodded again. The bathroom wasn't too far away. He wanted to run to it and hurl. He was sure he looked greener than he ever had in his _life_. "So.... what are you thinking."

"Hmm?" He looked down at himself. His green. Reptilian. Short. Mutated. Freak. Outright wierd self. Then back up to her. She caught on. "Oh.... well...." She smiled. "It suits you." 

"Oh..... um...." He was really going to throw up. The chunks were begining to rise. Gwen stepped back.

"Now remember. Two wishes. Think about it. Give us a call when you want to use one. And don't forget, there's no expiration date." She added as she backed toward the door. Raphael nodded, and gracefully as possible, got up from the couch. Mike had to hurry to his side to help him hobble to the bathroom. He was afraid he might not make it. Mike nearly had to drag him along, and he made it to the toilet in time.

When he returned he found the comfy seat of the couch waiting for him with his brothers. Gwen and Eva were long gone. One of the talk shows they made fun of was on, and someone had reheated the bucket of chicken, which now sat on the coffee table with a six pack. Mike helped him to his seat, and he leaned back between Don and Leo.

A pie emmerged from the kitchen somehow with a bunch of plates and Mike sat in the futon. Some big chicks in little bikinis started cat fighting on staged and they all laughed. Raph grabbed a beer of the table. It was nice and cold. Beside it a clean little slip of paper rested. He picked it up as well and leaned back against the soft back of the couch. 'coven of the green goddess' was printed in blue ballpoint pen. Beneath it a phone number in carefully written numbers laid on the bottom of the paper. He ran his thick finger over the letters.

"Um, Raph?" Mike was looked over at him, with a hopeful and secretive glint in his eye. "You, uh, you gunna share those wishes with us, or what?" Raphael looked between his two brothers beside him. They each had either an eye on him, or the paper. Now, how could he forsake them by not letting them share in his good fortune. They shared everything. Brothers to the end. How could he do that?

"Screw you guys." Yeah. That's how.

********

I'm seriously looking for suggestions on what Raph should use his wishes for. If anyone has any ideas please share! That would be rad. I haven't started the sequel to this, but I will. Yeah, anything goes.

Also, I should note, that witches can't give out 'wishes'. They aren't leprecauns. But they can tweak certain energies and whatnot. Which can be kind of translated to wishes. So if there are any witches reading this, please don't zap me!

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End file.
